


If only they knew

by Bocha_2910



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-25 13:34:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22336819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bocha_2910/pseuds/Bocha_2910
Summary: This is a little one-shot I wrote up, I'm thinking about making it into a longer fiction but wanted some opinions first. So let me know :)Title subject to change.Stan felt it. Kyle felt it. Everyone knew it, even Wendy but when were things ever that easy. Very little people fall in love with their best friend and even fewer people get a happy ending out of it. The two South Park Boys had felt that way for as long as they could remember. Who in their right mind would ever have the courage to admit it because sometimes words are better left unsaid and sometimes words are let lose.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	If only they knew

"I don't know what to do man." 

I stayed silent. My mind wouldn’t stop, everything came back to him. Stan probably felt the same way about Wendy and honestly, that sucked. 

I often found myself thinking, "'You had your chance.’, that wasn’t all together true. I’d only now found out about his past feelings. Still, there was this awful pang in my chest every time I thought about it. How differently things could’ve turned out. 

His face turned to one of confusion, "Is everything okay with you?" 

"I'm fine." The small smile that tugged at my lips didn't manage to find my eyes. 

He studied me. 

I shrugged my shoulders, a flattened expression adorned my features. I could see Stan scowl out the corner of my eye, he sighed and hopped off the stool tucked by the kitchen island, "Fine." 

He began to walk away, my posture faltered. Recently he always felt far away. We would sit as close as we could to one another and somehow it felt like we were on opposite ends of the universe. 

He paused and I held my breath. 

"If you don't want to talk about it, then say so. Don't lie to me and say everything's fine when it isn't." 

I turned to face him, "What do you want me to say?” the words were a lot harsher than intended. 

His eyes widened slightly and I could feel the regret. 

“Forget it.” 

“Wait. I-“ 

“No, I get it. You’ve been like this for months now. I don’t know when it was we stopped telling each other things.” 

I couldn’t believe him. He doesn’t know when we stopped to tell each other things? 

“That’s rich.” I was pissed. 

Stan looked thrown off as if what I said had caught him off guard.

“You’re oblivious.” I huffed. 

"Oblivious to what? We were fine, everything was fine. What changed?" His tone was harsh, it only further infuriated me. 

I thought back to what Kenny had told me, there was no way he hadn't said something. So, was Stan going to act like nothing was ever said in the first place. 

"Really?" I chewed the side of my tongue, "We're going to act like I have no idea then." 

"Kyle-" 

He could've told me. He was with Wendy, I knew that but then again what if he knew we were dealing with the same shit as each other. Would it of changed his mind. 

"It's okay. We can act like I don't and we'll pretend Kenny didn't talk to me." I cut him off and took a sudden breath, "We can pretend I didn't feel the same way." 

Stan looked rattled and when he said nothing I felt a thumping in my chest. I'd said something I shouldn't of, I assumed Kenny had told Stan, maybe not. 

"Kenny told you." He swallowed and I couldn't bring myself to answer. 

We never stopped telling each other things, it just turned out we had secrets we wanted to keep. I never knew I'd want that. To keep secrets from Stan. We’d been dealing with this awkward dynamic and I had no idea how to get out of it. The only thing I could think of was to pull myself away.

I nodded and he let out a exasperated chuckle. 

"Ass." 

I tried to figure out where he was. At first he looked angry, angrier than I'd ever seen him but then all at once his face softened, "Wait." he began. 

"You felt the same way?" 

I simply nodded. 

I took a moment to think. He did the same. I didn't know were to go from here, things had gotten so messed up in such a short space of time. 

I looked at Stan, silent. The way his brow furrowed, how his nose twitched ever so slightly when he was in such deep concentration. He stood statuesque. As if making even the smallest of movements would crumble the ground from beneath him. I couldn't see him like that. 

I walked toward him, stopping with almost no space between us. I lifted my head, letting the smallest grin tug at the corners of my mouth. 

"What?" He asked almost sheepish but he already knew. 

I got to the tips of my toes and leaned in close to his ear, "Please. Don't hate me." I whispered. 

I pulled back only for a fraction of a second before settling my lips on his, I heard his breath catch. For a moment I thought he was going to pull away but he pressed harder into the kiss. His skin softer than I could've imagined, the bitter taste of coffee still lingering. He lifted an arm from his side to rest his hand gently on the skin of my neck. His lips moved with mine, it felt like this was were they belonged. I sighed into the kiss, happy to be in this moment. 

"Hm." The sounder reverberated. 

“Wait." 

Stan pulled his head only an inch from mine, our lips still ghosting over one another, "I can't do this." He paused, "Wendy." 

I moved from him. I hadn't thought about what was going to happen when I kissed him. I hadn't thought about what might change or what Stan might do, only not kiss me back. 

"You can't kiss me?" I spoke in a breath almost afraid of the answer. 

"No. I mean, yes but no, I can't do any of this." His jaw tightened. 

He looked at me with sympathy, my skin pricked, "Yeah. Neither can I." 

He seemed confused at what I'd said, I clenched my jaw in an attempt to not look as hurt as I felt. I could feel my patience begin to slip, "You and her." 

His eyebrows knit.

"I can't listen to you talk about her. I can't. I don't want to know how it went when you visited her parents or how she can't stand Plums. What you're thinking about getting her for her birthday. How you adore it when she stands her ground with Cartman. I just-" my head shook. 

I stood for a moment, silenced by my own words.

He was already happy. 

He was already happy without me. It wasn't fair for me to stay anymore and as much as we didn't want to admit it we both knew. 

"I need to go. Don't I." More of a statement to myself than a question. I closed my eyes as tight as I could. 

"So this is what? Goodbye? That's it?" I'd never heard Stan speak so softly. 

I looked at him. He wanted me to say goodbye but I could never summon the courage. To say goodbye would be admitting I would never see him again, speak to him, see his face. I wouldn’t hear his stupid jokes or be warmed by his humility. I wouldn’t be loved by his beautiful heart and I couldn't stand that. 

I'd never realised how priceless his kindness was until I wasn't going to have it anymore. It's funny, in one instant I could've had everything and now.

I won't.


End file.
